“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

We’re asked what we plan to do, and I declared the following:

I crave the crackle of creativity.
The thrill, the absolute exhilaration,
As a beautiful new something is plucked from infinite possibility;
I want furrowed brows turning into a soft smile.

I hope to keep my soul satisfied, but always strive for more.
I want to dream more than others have said I should,
But to never let these dreams consume me,
And to laugh it off when giving my everything doesn’t quite work out.

I want to master my mind, for I am the maker of my monsters.
Despite the best-laid plans, I’m going to stumble,
But it is up to me how I understand those moments.
Doubt, fear, insecurity – these are all mine to tame, not on others to blame.

Over the last two years, I see this file lurking on my desktop. Every now and then, I open it up and scroll through a screen filled with these pretty plans, promising so much. I read and re-read these wonderful words, brimming with aspiration and conviction.

And then, I wonder why sometimes, I hesitate to raise my hand.

— Apeksha Kothari