Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves

We all struggle with difficult conversations, but we're often not very good at easy ones either. Though we do it all the time, conversation is one of the most complex, demanding, and delicate of all human tasks, rife with possibilities for misinterpretation and misunderstanding. And yet, conversations can also be a source of great joy, each one offering an opportunity to express who we are and learn who others are—to feel connected, loved, and alive. In TALK, I show why conversing a little more effectively can make a big difference in the quality of our close personal relationships as well as our professional success. Drawing on the new science of conversation, I distill lessons that show how we can better understand, learn from, and delight each other. The key is the TALKmaxims: Topics Asking, Levity, and Kindness. Through experiments ranging across the conversational spectrum—from speed daters who ask too few questions (or too many), to future business leaders averse to topic forethought, to traffic stops that reveal the essence of kind language—this book takes readers inside the world of conversation, giving us the confidence and the advice to approach any interaction with more creativity and compassion. Addressing our face-to-face conversations as well as those we have by phone, email, text, and social media, TALK is a thoughtful guide for anyone seeking to better establish and sustain their relationships, and to work and lead effectively. From managing our emotions and sparking creativity to navigating conflict and being more inclusive, the right conversation skills are key to leading a more joyful and purposeful life.