Backhanded Compliments: How Negative Comparisons Undermine Flattery

Ovul  Sezer; Alison Wood  Brooks; Michael I. Norton

Working Paper | HBS Working Paper Series | 2018

Backhanded Compliments: How Negative Comparisons Undermine Flattery

by Ovul Sezer, Alison Wood Brooks and Michael I. Norton

Abstract

Seven studies (N = 2352) examine backhanded compliments—seeming praise that draws a comparison with a negative standard—a distinct self-presentation strategy with two simultaneous goals: eliciting liking (“Your speech was good…”) and conveying status (“…for a woman”). Backhanded compliments are common, from delivering feedback in work settings to communicating in casual conversation and take several distinct forms (Studies 1a-b). Backhanded compliments have mixed effectiveness, as people who deliver backhanded compliments erroneously believe that they will both convey high status and elicit liking (Studies 2a-2b), but recipients and third-party evaluators grant them neither (Studies 3a-3b); however, backhanded compliments are successful in reducing recipients’ motivation (Study 3c). We identify two constructs useful in determining the general effectiveness of ingratiation: excessive concern with image drives negative perceptions of backhanded compliment givers, while perceptions of low relative rank in a distribution drives the reduced motivation of backhanded compliment recipients.

Keywords: backhanded compliments; Self-presentation; impression management; interpersonal perception; liking; Status; image concern; Interpersonal Communication; Status and Position; Perception; Motivation and Incentives;

Language: English

Format: Print

65 pages

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Citation:

Sezer, Ovul, Alison Wood Brooks, and Michael I. Norton. "Backhanded Compliments: How Negative Comparisons Undermine Flattery." Harvard Business School Working Paper, No. 18-082, February 2018.

Working Paper | 2018

Status Inconsistency: Variance in One's Status Across Groups Harms Well-being but Improves Perspective-taking

Catarina Fernandes and Alison Wood Brooks

Most people belong to many different groups. While some people experience consistently high or low status across all of their groups, others experience wildly different levels of status in each group. In this research, we examine how status inconsistency – the degree to which one’s status varies across groups – impacts well-being and perspective-taking. Across five studies, we find robust evidence that status inconsistency (controlling for average status) has negative intrapersonal, but positive interpersonal, consequences. Study 1A shows that higher status inconsistency across many groups is related to lower levels of life satisfaction, self-esteem, and subjective social status. Study 1B tests the causal relationship between status inconsistency and well-being, demonstrating that even thinking about one’s status inconsistency can lead to lower feelings of happiness. Study 2 focuses on attitudes towards the most status-inconsistent groups and shows that individuals are most likely to leave the groups in which their status is furthest away from their mean personal status across groups, irrespective of whether the deviance is positive (much higher status than average) or negative (much lower status than average). Studies 3A and 3B shift to investigate the interpersonal effects of status inconsistency on perspective-taking. Study 3A shows that status inconsistency is related to higher levels of trait perspective-taking and empathetic concern, and Study 3A that thinking about one’s status inconsistency increases perspective-taking on a task. Taken together, the results indicate that those whose status is inconsistent across groups experience lower levels of well-being, but are better at understanding others’ points of view.

Keywords: Status; Social hierarchies; Groups and Teams; well-being; Perspective Taking; Status and Position; Groups and Teams; Satisfaction; Perspective;

Citation:

Fernandes, Catarina, and Alison Wood Brooks. "Status Inconsistency: Variance in One's Status Across Groups Harms Well-being but Improves Perspective-taking." Working Paper, 2018. (under review, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes.) View Details

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How do the wealthy spend their time, and does their time use relate to their greater well-being? Two large-scale surveys of millionaires and the general population show that millionaires spend their time in surprisingly similar ways as the general population. For example, millionaires spend the same amount of time as the general population cooking, shopping, and eating – and even spend more time on household chores. However, while millionaires and non-millionaires also spend the same amount of time engaging in leisure activities, a critical difference emerged: the wealthy engage in more active leisure (e.g., exercising and volunteering) and less passive leisure (e.g., watching TV and relaxing). Moreover, the extent to which wealthy individuals engage in greater active leisure helps to explain the gap in life satisfaction between millionaires and the general population. Together, these results further our understanding of when and how wealth translates into well-being.

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Backhanded Compliments: How Negative Comparisons Undermine Flattery

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